Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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