my vag is so smooth its legendary
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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