I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
