just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
