Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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