I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
