If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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