Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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