why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
