Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize