doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
