Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
