I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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