Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
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I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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