plz talk dirty to me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
