census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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