Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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