At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just invented taco cereal.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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