what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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