she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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