She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
