He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize