You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there was a trapeze. enough said
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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