She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
