dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
