It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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