Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
