therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
