the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need water and some morals
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