I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
