I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
