I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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