I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dicks are not precious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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