Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
