My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
