You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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