Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink

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(209): View more from California

This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!

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(316): View more from Kansas

Ecstasy should be its own food group.

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(881): View more from

I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.

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(616): View more from Michigan

i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them

(1-616): View more from Michigan

its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you

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(512): View more from Texas

you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

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(206): View more from Washington

Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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(269): View more from Michigan

Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.

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