After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
