yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
