What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
