This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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