Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
