its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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