so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
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I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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