Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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