I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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