remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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