Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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