You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize