I bet he comes in French.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
