my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize