there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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