You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
