Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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