I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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