she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
