You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
