saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
