I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize