it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
