What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
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He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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