I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
