So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize